Parshat Ki Tetze, the most mitzvah-packed of all the weekly portions, appears to be a random collection of mitzvot of all types and all stripes. Rav Avraham Ibn Ezra utilizes a significant portion of his commentary on this parsha to demonstrate that there are connections between the mitzvoth. A careful look reveals that the topic of marriage is a thread that weaves its way through the parsha. With other mitzvot interspersed, the parsha discusses five marital situations.

• Captive wife ("eshet yfat toar")
• a man who seeks to divorce through slandering her
• a man who seeks to divorce his wife for justified reasons
• a man who is happily newly married
• the case of levirate marriage ("yibbum")


In the spirit of the Ibn Ezra, we can also suggest an explanation of the progression of the marriage discussions. Last week's parsha discussed the national building blocks of society, including courts, government, and penal systems. This week the Torah presents family as the cornerstone of society. However, it is the goals of the individual in marriage that determine whether the marriage will be a boon to the community.

The parsha begins with the worst scenario, "eshet yefat toar," where a man is motivated simply by the lust that accompanies battle. Next, the Torah turns to a man who truly wishes to marry, but enters marriage with an attitude that results in slander of his wife. The Torah then describes marital strife again, but this time it is divorce motivated by sincere motives. Finally, the Torah reaches healthy marriage, and informs us that the newlywed man is exempt from military service for a year. This is not only a favor to the couple to help them solidify their marriage. Rather, embarking on a healthy marriage is itself a service to all of society, and thus allows for an exemption from military service. Last, the Torah describes the ultimate selflessness in marriage: the individual who marries for the sake of his deceased brother.

Yeshiva is a time for self-focus. Our fine new talmidim have already begun to engage in serious learning in shiurim, but also in chavrutot and conversations with their rebbeim, madrichim, and kollel members. At Shvilei, however, we feel that self-focused spiritual growth is critical but insufficient in making time in Israel successful. There must also be a focus on helping others. Next week, every talmid will begin his weekly personal chesed, whether it is being a big brother to a special needs child or terror victim, packing Shabbat food for the poor, or some other very worthwhile endeavor. In the meantime, our guys have begun making new friendships with one another, and are prepared to be the ultimate helpful Shabbat guests on their first out Shabbat of the year. Shabbat Shalom!

Rav Dan Jacobson